6.7.15

MY PERSONAL STRUGGLE

Hello people of earth!

Currently as I am typing this it is Monday so if its not Monday when I've released this post I was probably working on it for days.

Now normally I don't talk about super serious things because I prefer to angle away from serious topics but for today I decided to talk about my personal struggles since this is a personal styled blog.

As a teenager I obviously have many, many problems and issues, maybe that's a part of growing up or whatever but one struggle I have in particular is a common one: Weight problems.
For a long, long time I've struggled with losing weight, having a slow metabolism etc. I never really realised how fat I was getting until a saw a picture of me on the beach in a bikini and my stomach was droopy and massive and I was in shock. I never realised that eating chips everyday was starting to affect my health and my appearance and it was sad so I immediately looked for ways to lose weight, I downloaded every fitness and food checker app there was. I weighed myself everyday but I kept seeing the same number no matter how hard I was trying. For a 13 year old girl 2 years ago I weighed 168 pounds (12 stone) and I was so disappointed in myself. I blame my metabolism mainly, its extremely slow and I eventually realised that so I researched ways to speed it up and I got the same result every time: Green tea. So I drank about 2 cups every day with no sugar and I began to work out and attempt to drink 8 glasses of water. However my family are quite fond of fatty foods so when I became hungry I broke my diet by eating cookies and sweets. It was really confusing because I felt like there was nothing to help me with my diet and I didn't want to talk about it with my mum because I didn't want to worry her that I had low self esteem and I didn't want her to think I was developing body dysmorphia or an eating disorder so I kept it to myself.

Sometimes when I was with my cousin who has a great body after just having a kid, my family would point out how greedy I was becoming so it gave me motivation to leave crisps and chocolate etc. and start eating more salads and such, the problem was at school I never ate during lunch times so I would become hungry and then when I got home I would literally eat everything to make up for hunger during school and this was stopping my weight loss so I tried to bring healthy sandwiches and stuff, this worked but even now I do having huge sugar cravings from time to time, its like, when I want sugar I'm aware I shouldn't have it but somehow I convince myself that a few bites wont hurt.
 
I've researched every weight loss pill or diet tea but from what the information says they generally do more harm than good so I'm trying to stick to the natural method, flashforward 2 years ahead I still struggle with my weight and fitting in certain clothes (I'm size 8) I'm not saying looks are everything but for me, I have to look in the mirror about 6 times before I leave and convince myself "I don't look big in this" but I've successfully lost 42 pounds (3 stone) in 2 years but I'm still going, right now I'm not "fat" per say, my bmi does state "healthy weight" but even then I'm not completely satisfied, I have a massive amount of weight on my thighs and my stomach is not yet fully toned but this summer I am planning on working on going jogging and eating healthier because at the moment my 'pizza Saturdays' are not contributing towards further weight loss, my ideal weight would be 8 stone, not to bad if I do say so myself, Only one more stone and a whole lot of squats and starjumps to go!
 
If you made it to the end of the post, thanks for reading, I know its super serious but i'll upload a more light-hearted blog post in the near future.
Bye-bye!x
 

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for saying this, I'm really sorry you're going through that! I really feel for you, I have struggled with weight, too. Have you considered contacting a doctor? It may be your thyroid or pituitary gland. That's why I struggled with weight. In any case, I hope you get to a point where you feel comfortable in your own skin. I haven't ever seen you, but I still think you're awesome no matter what you weigh! =D

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    1. Thank you for the comment I was unsure on how people would react to something more serious like this and I've never really thought about contacting a doctor I think its based on my love of sugary food probably nothing super serious I'm only 15! :)

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