3.8.16

When I Got My First Period (Storytime)


Is this too revealing?
Eh I don't care.

What inspired me to make this post?
Absolutely nothing.
The idea just came to me after reading a chapter of Percy Jackson, not sure why though since the book has nothing to do with periods.

But anyways, currently I'm up, typing this post at 2am.
That's real dedication my friends.

My first period wasn't super terrifying like I'm not going to be clickbaity and put "MY 1ST PERIOD HORROR!!!11" as my title but it was a pretty shocking experience.
so.much.blood 

I was 14 years old so this only happened 2 years ago and it was September 20th.
Prior to this I was super annoyed that pretty much all of my friends had gotten their period and I still hadn't, to the point I faked it and said "I was on my period" to my friends when I was in agitated moods.
I didn't feel like a woman just because I wasn't menstruating yet but when it came it completely caught me off guard.
It was a sunny day and I was babysitting my baby cousin (which is quite ironic if you think about it, my period came whilst I was looking after a baby...weird. Its like my body could smell the child)
But yeah, I was watching tv whilst babysitting and then I handed my cousin over to my mother so I could go to the toilet.

I was pretty lucky because my period didn't come whilst I was in school and strangely the blood didn't leak onto my underwear, which was actually a blessing now that I think about it because it saved me throwing away a decent piece of underwear.
It was when I actually wiped, that's when I saw a mixture of a crime scene and Carrie the movie on the piece of toilet roll.
SO MUCH BLOOD 
I was so scared.
This is not how I expected my first period to be, for some reason I thought it'd be some sacred event that'd have a heavenly aura glowing from my underwear when I finally started bleeding.
But no, when it actually happened I didn't even think it was happening,
I THOUGHT I WAS DYING
SOMEHOW I THOUGHT MY INTERNAL ORGANS WERE BEING EXPELLED THROUGH MY VAGINA
So I did what any normal teenage girl would (not) do, I carried the tissue full of blood and showed it to my mother, I know, that's pretty gross but I was panicking don't judge me.
In return from her, I got the most mundane response
"Its your period, go put on a pad"
I mean sure, I wasn't expecting a bohemian festival or anything but I wanted a little bit of interest, AT LEAST.

So then yeah, I put on a pad and for a few months I didn't get any cramps or any signs of PMS every time my period came so me being cocky I was like "ugh periods are nothing, why do people complain?" but after about a year.
HELL CAME RAINING DOWN.

  • Cramps
  • Moodswings
  • Bloating
  • Nausea
  • Headaches
  • Backpain
Pretty much the full Satan subscription.
I remember before getting periods, one of my friends I confided in about not starting yet said "Trust me, once you start your period, you'll have wished it never came"

She's always been a wise one

2.8.16

The Art Of Being Single


I know what you're all thinking..."ugh here we go again, another rant about your failing love life?"
That's probably not what you're thinking actually, I'm clearly too mean to myself.
But no, this will not be a rant.
I'm tired of that.

Instead I shall try to turn the tables and have an appreciative post, enjoying the benefits of my love drought.
Yeah you heard me, love drought
My new name for my love life because my love life is dryer than the Sahara dessert at the moment.

I feel like I'm going to get bombarded with people saying "remember you don't need a boyfriend to be happy" after posting this and all I have to say is, believe me I know, I've spent months trying to drill that thought into my thick skull and finally I truly understand that true happiness, comes from within.
I know... I'm Gandhi af.

To be honest I'm still not sure whether I actually want to be in a relationship or just like the idea of it, eh..i don't know and I have no actual way of finding it out unless I spend a good long hour thinking about it and then again I probably wouldn't get a clear answer, just smoke coming from my brain and probably brain damage.

I'll just be confused for the time being
Instead of making a list (WHICH I SEEM TO DO REGULARLY ON MY BLOG POSTS BTW) lets have a discussion, what are the positives of being single?
Well, for me even when I'm not in a relationship and just have a crush, I turn into a demon I get jealous, insecure and paranoid and then when I'm actually in a relationship, all of that behaviour gets ENHANCED..its all just..no thanks.
That kind of stress, for me especially since I'm pretty psychotic is NOT.NEEDED so for now I'll embrace my stress free life.

Lets elaborate on the insecurity, I'll admit when I do get into relationships, instead of being chill and enjoying the relationship, I obsess and focus on if I'm pretty enough and worry if anyone is going to steal the guy I'm dating.
Its annoying really, its like a subconscious thought in my head constantly saying
"This girl likes your boyfriend, he's going to start liking her back. DO SOMETHING"
"You look gross today, he's going to leave you"
"Don't put your hair in a ponytail, it makes your forehead look too big, he'll think its ugly"

Yeah.. it also doesn't help that I see
"GOALS"
"RELATIONSHIP GOALS <333333"
plastered everywhere, I'll start getting upset wishing I was prettier, to match my pretty boyfriend
Constant comparison will destroy you.
I DONT KNOW HOW BUT SOMEHOW EVERY COUPLE IN THOSE DAMN "RELATIONSHIP GOALS" PICTURES ARE GORGEOUS AF, I WANNA KNOW THEIR SECRET.

Moving on, what else is good about being single?
Oh yeah, the freedom, the liberation, the fact you could go to a club and marry 3 different people without bae getting mad.
Wait is that even legal?
Oh well, you could do it anyway because you are single.

Also no relationship=no fear of heartbreak
YES. THATS PROBABLY THE BEST PART.

..Wow.. in this huge babble I've only listed like 3 positives...OH WELL
I know I kinda just rambled but I did try to make this like my old funnier posts, I hope you liked it.
And in all seriousness, I do constantly try and look at the positives of being single, I'm only 16 I have a long time to find a boyfriend but sometimes I do wish I had someone to give meh the cuddles *cough* DAN HOWELL *cough*
Its not always fun being single but hey,
if you can enjoy it and walk the earth with a "idgaf about dating" attitude
then you my friend, are an artist
;)

P.S: This post was somewhat inspired by this video by Buzzfeed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNWiTXGM5-w
And this is one of my favourite posts to read, it is by Jon Cozart/Paint
http://joncozart.tumblr.com/post/14007267327/why-i-want-a-girlfriend
It pretty much breaks down why he wants a girlfriend (which I think he has now) but it also draws similarities to why I want a boyfriend.
Enjoy.